Australia doesn't have any coffee

It's a strange thing to be in a place so similar to your natural habitat that you feel at ease, can get around and exchange ideas with the locals, but small differences exist to remind you that you're very nearly halfway across the globe. It's as though you're looking at a completed puzzel and can define what's pictured but the pieces don't quite fit right.

For instance, the other day i went to Gloria Jean's, a coffee shop nearly identical to a Starbucks at the local mall. Like Starbucks it was packed, they kept pastries and hot food behind a glass case and you could pick your drink and alter it with soy substitutions, flavors, etc.

I meet the barista.

"Hello how are you?"

Her: "I'm fine, thank you. What for you?"

"I'll take a regular drip coffee."

"Like a black coffee? We don't have that here. I'm guessing you're from the states."

"Yeah I got in about a week ago."

"Well what we've got is a 'tall black,' which is a double shot of espresso mixed with hot water. I actually think I've been asked for a black coffee three times in the past seven years."

"So you don't sell black coffee in Australia?"

"Not really, no."

If there hadn't been a line stretched behind me, and if the lady selling me the drink hadn't been extremely cordial, I would have explained to her the sheer stupidity of the situation. Don't get me wrong; I accept that there are differences in cultures, and what works for the US doesn't and shouldn't have to work everywhere. But honestly, if you have coffee beans, and you have hot water, and you have the very miniscule manufacutring capabilities or trade relations to acquire a coffee maker or at least a French press, there undoubtedly should be coffee. Especially if your method of replication involves creating espresso (timely, expensive machines) only to water it down.

A hasty search through local department stores and appliance catalouges yields not a single coffee-making device, confirming my suspicion that coffee in Australia means nasty 'instant' or the laughable process explained above.

So I took the 'tall black' with a grimmace and drank it and thought up this blog post. I have since vented on not a few Australians. They don't seem to care.

In other news, I officially bet on horses, which is a pastime for Australian students (well, one horse, for $5, which got 4th). The deal is you dress up, get drunk and bet on horses. It was pretty fun.

I also saw some dolphins, fed a kangaroo, petted a koala, fulfilling my earlier posted promise and checking some of the most fantastically touristy things to do in Oz off my list. Unfortunately when I went to load these shots onto my computer, I didn't, and wiped them all off my card. I'm looking for replacements.

I got sick, a sore throat, and laid in bed all day on Saturday and got better.

And my parents are coming over this weekend! Sweet! See you guys here. Enjoy the flight. Sike!

I'm meeting a bunch of sweet people from all over the globe and dancing my face off, but with my small repetoire of moves (Three!), I'm going to have to get inventive fairly soon.

Stayton out.