Australia doesn't have any coffee

It's a strange thing to be in a place so similar to your natural habitat that you feel at ease, can get around and exchange ideas with the locals, but small differences exist to remind you that you're very nearly halfway across the globe. It's as though you're looking at a completed puzzel and can define what's pictured but the pieces don't quite fit right.

For instance, the other day i went to Gloria Jean's, a coffee shop nearly identical to a Starbucks at the local mall. Like Starbucks it was packed, they kept pastries and hot food behind a glass case and you could pick your drink and alter it with soy substitutions, flavors, etc.

I meet the barista.

"Hello how are you?"

Her: "I'm fine, thank you. What for you?"

"I'll take a regular drip coffee."

"Like a black coffee? We don't have that here. I'm guessing you're from the states."

"Yeah I got in about a week ago."

"Well what we've got is a 'tall black,' which is a double shot of espresso mixed with hot water. I actually think I've been asked for a black coffee three times in the past seven years."

"So you don't sell black coffee in Australia?"

"Not really, no."

If there hadn't been a line stretched behind me, and if the lady selling me the drink hadn't been extremely cordial, I would have explained to her the sheer stupidity of the situation. Don't get me wrong; I accept that there are differences in cultures, and what works for the US doesn't and shouldn't have to work everywhere. But honestly, if you have coffee beans, and you have hot water, and you have the very miniscule manufacutring capabilities or trade relations to acquire a coffee maker or at least a French press, there undoubtedly should be coffee. Especially if your method of replication involves creating espresso (timely, expensive machines) only to water it down.

A hasty search through local department stores and appliance catalouges yields not a single coffee-making device, confirming my suspicion that coffee in Australia means nasty 'instant' or the laughable process explained above.

So I took the 'tall black' with a grimmace and drank it and thought up this blog post. I have since vented on not a few Australians. They don't seem to care.

In other news, I officially bet on horses, which is a pastime for Australian students (well, one horse, for $5, which got 4th). The deal is you dress up, get drunk and bet on horses. It was pretty fun.

I also saw some dolphins, fed a kangaroo, petted a koala, fulfilling my earlier posted promise and checking some of the most fantastically touristy things to do in Oz off my list. Unfortunately when I went to load these shots onto my computer, I didn't, and wiped them all off my card. I'm looking for replacements.

I got sick, a sore throat, and laid in bed all day on Saturday and got better.

And my parents are coming over this weekend! Sweet! See you guys here. Enjoy the flight. Sike!

I'm meeting a bunch of sweet people from all over the globe and dancing my face off, but with my small repetoire of moves (Three!), I'm going to have to get inventive fairly soon.

Stayton out.

I'm here.

G'day mates. (sorry about that, I had to.)



So for the last 5 months or so I've been filling out applications, oddjobbing for money, and frantically getting prepared for my trip to Australia, where I'll be studying until late November.



(I want to send a special shoutout to mom, dad, and the Jendros for making this happen, you guys rock, and I will always oddjob for you.)



It was hectic and weird. The uni (that's what they call it) didn't let me know I even was accepted until a month ago, and International House, where I'm staying, didn't give me a room until about 10 days ago. On top of that I decided to get scuba certified the week before I was to leave. There was nail biting in the Stayton household. But everything eventually worked out and I got on the plane.



After a 3 hour flight from Portland to LAX, I endured a mind-numbing 15 hour flight across the Pacific Ocean to Sydney. In the middle seat. There was warnings in the plane about DVT, a condition in which the low-oxygen climate, general dehydration and prolonged lack of movement causes blood clots to form in your legs, requiring surgery for removal. Fortunately I escaped unscathed.



From there I took the Happy Cabby to Newcastle. I saw the Sydney Opera House; very cool, but smaller than I expected. I did not see koalas on the stoplights, kangaroos boxing citizens, or dingos eating babies, but then, it was only my first day.



Last night I went to a social mixer for the International House, a Rubix Cube party, where you wear all different colors of clothing and trade until you're a solid color. What I didn't expect was a full-on rauceous time with lots of alcohol, dancing, and crazy Aussy drinking rules that apply all the time. And that was before the bars. These people are crazy.



For example: if a guy is chatting up a girl apart from everyone, he takes a "nudey lap" which is exactly what it sounds like. Swearing, pointing, or calling someone by their first name or recognizable nick name results in putting your chin on the floor for 10 seconds. I'll keep you updated with new ones as I come across them.



after the 'cube party we loaded up 3 full city busses with students (sloshing puke and community singing included) and filled a bar downtown. It was awesome.



Tomorrow I'm going on a dolphin-spotting cruise around the harbor, and I will pet a koala and feed a kangaroo, and I'll be watching his every waking move.



Of note: cockatiels sound like screaming monkeys, and the cars here are awesome: Audi A8L TDI? yes. Toyota Landcruiser V8 diesel with a flatbed? Oh yeah. I'll be carrying my camera around and posting pictures soon, and will try to integrate a cool car of the week feature, for your enjoyment (I'm looking at you Christain. Where are my tweets?)



Anyway, Stayton out.